San Francisco

You say you've got kids and want to take them to something family friendly?

Hardly Strictly Bluegrass: About the only dangerous thing is if Jerry Jeff Walker starts a "Fuck Bush" chant when the Blue Angels fly overhead.

Lovefest: Well, um, people tend to take the festival title pretty literally.

The economy's in the dumper, so you want to get the most for your dollar?

HSB: Hey, it's free! And you can bring your own picnic basket and booze. Plus, with the bad parking situation, you pretty much have to take public transportation.

Lovefest: The parade and Lovefest party are free. Plus, I hear those little tabs are very cost efficient, as long as the bouncer doesn't take them for himself.

You like to dress up?

HSB: It's pretty much all white people all the time. That means cowboys hats and tie dye, save for when Marty Willson-Piper (of the Church) and Gypsy punks Gogol Bordello are performing.

Lovefest: This is your lucky day. As long as that day coincides with shiny silver moonboots, giant pink wings, and a freaky face paint.

You're a fan of imbibing?

HSB: Okay, as long as you count caffeine and alcohol as drugs. They aren't called the Bad Livers for nothing, you know.

Lovefest: No. Kidding! Don't you know drugs mean love.

You're one of those annoying people who actually likes getting up early?

HSB: There's always MC Hammer on Friday at 11:30 a.m. He's playing with a full gospel choir, and it's not even Sunday.

Lovefest: Mark your alarm for "Breakfast in Bed" @ Supperclub, Sunday at 5-11 a.m. Now you can pay $10 to "roll" around in bed.

You haven't listened to new music since 1986?

HSB: No problemo. We've got Elvis Costello, Nick Lowe, Emmylou Harris, or -- yes, you read this right -- Robert Plant.

Lovefest: House music pretty much sounds the same now as it did then. Boring and/or snoring.

You like to get your groove on?

HSB: Not so much, unless you do that annoying "spinning" thing to Mickey Hart's Global Drum Project. Or check out Jon Spencer's latest blues explosion, Heavy Trash.

Lovefest: You, sir, are in the right place. Might I suggest the Fist of God tour date with MSTRKRFT and Felix Cartel on Oct 1 at Mezzanine. Or maybe the funky breaks of Fort Knox Five at Supperclub on October 3. Possibly the hipster electro of Drop the Lime and Spank Rock DJs Devlin & Darko at Supperclub on October 4. Or perhaps the After the Love party featuring Aquasky, Motion Potion, and the Space Cowboys DJs at Mighty on October 4. There's a lot of options.

Hardly Strictly Bluegrass begins at 10:30 a.m. on Friday-Sunday, October 3-5 in Golden Gate Park. The Lovefest parade starts at noon on Saturday, October 4 at Market and Second Streets, ending at Civic Center Plaza.